It’s New Year’s Eve and my mind is full of promises, goals, wonderful ideas about the things I’m going to do, and lies. Yes, lies. At the beginning of each year, I make the typical resolutions and goals to save money, lose weight, eat healthy, spend more time with friends and family. Then, there are the lies. These are the things I really want to do and I tell myself I’m going to do them but the truth is I don’t have the will, courage, or strength to go against what people would say, to go against that don’t change, remain comfortable, culture in my head.
I’m lying to myself every time I allow a vision of me doing what I truly want to do to stroll through my imagination, draw a broad smile across my face and make me feel wonderful. While seeing this vision there’s a voice saying, “You can’t do that.” And that encouraging, uplifting, energy leaves my body as I accept and believe the lie, “You can’t do that.”
But, I can do it. Being afraid doesn’t mean can’t, it just means afraid. It’s a matter of not being afraid to allow the voice of my Soul to speak against the sound of the voice in my head. It’s a matter of allowing my Soul to choose the story I want to right, the opinion I want to express, the poem I want to pen.
Now is the time to stop telling the lie and to stop believing the lie. Even if you’re afraid to write the poem because you don’t want to be seen as “gay,” or “weak,” then don’t write it but don’t lie to yourself anymore. Take the step and admit you’re afraid and why you’re afraid but stop lying and saying you “can’t.” You may be afraid to submit your work to a publisher but don’t tell the lie that you can’t. You may be afraid to share your personal story but don’t tell the lie that you can’t.
It’s a new day, a new year, and a new decade. Why continue in your old ways when there is so much newness awaiting you? Why not go beyond the typical New Years resolution and challenge yourself? Resolve to stop lying to yourself. Promise to be the writer you want to be and write what makes your Soul smile.